


Relationships like this

by raisedtokeepquiet



Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF, Festival di Sanremo RPF
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Confessions, Dating, Didn't Know They Were Dating, M/M, One Shot, marco is so done, only
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-20 03:39:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17014971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raisedtokeepquiet/pseuds/raisedtokeepquiet
Summary: It's just another day spent together with Fabrizio, just like they do sometimes. Only this time, something more swirls through the air. Ermal notices it only now - but apparently Fabrizio noticed it a while ago. Based on the following post:anonymous asked:SOS I told the girl I like that I want a butch gf and she said "I'm butch" and I got really flustered and went to go make dinner for us (bc I'm at her place tonight)tenderlesbian-deactivated201807 answered:uhh are you sure y’all arent on a date right now?





	Relationships like this

**Author's Note:**

> So I've had a bit of a writer's block lately, but I saw this post (http://ohermal.tumblr.com/post/181148440473/sos-i-told-the-girl-i-like-that-i-want-a-butch-gf) and just - Ermal would. So here, Ermal will.  
> I hope you enjoy this little fic, and I'll try to get back to all the ongoing stuff as soon as possible :) Please leave a comment with your thoughts!!

They were sitting on Fabrizio’s couch in his studio. They’d spent the afternoon just playing music. Neither Fabrizio nor Ermal was working on anything in particular, but it was a nice way to spend time together, just brainstorming about possibilities, surrounded by music and the comfortable atmosphere between them.

Now, however, they were just sitting there, occasionally talking, mostly thinking, enjoying each other’s company. There was no hurry, because for once they were not only meeting for a few hours here, or an evening in public there. No, this time Ermal would stay over for the weekend, and they had two full days together. And Ermal knew that after this peaceful afternoon they would cook dinner together – they’d done the grocery shopping for that earlier. In the evening they might watch some movie or other, depending on their mood. And that was just today, tomorrow they had more seas of time to spend together, until Ermal was scheduled to leave at seven in the evening.

Ermal had to be honest though, somehow, lately, it hadn’t been this rare to spend time together with Fabrizio. There were other evenings, not as long a time as this weekend, but an evening here or there, when he had been in Rome by chance, or even once, Fabrizio in Milan. And then there was that dinner they’d had, just the two of them, in a small restaurant Fabrizio knew, after they’d finished the recordings for some TV show that would only be broadcast later in the year…

But still, even if the time they spent together had increased, it was never too much. Quite the opposite, in fact, it seemed it was never enough. Ermal wondered about that. Of course he enjoyed spending time with his friends, but with Fabrizio wat was different, he was willing to go to greater lengths to spend even just a few hours with him than he would with others, in those cases not deeming it quite worth the effort to travel across the country. But then, he and Fabrizio just clicked like that, it was only natural that he’d want to spend more time with him.

He also realized something else, though.

“I wish… I wish I had a relationship like this, you know, just _being_ together, without necessarily doing anything… It would be so nice, building a home together, all the small things, the chores, and then at the end of the day just being together,” he mumbled, staring ahead, starting and stopping as the thought formed while he spoke. He hadn’t really expected a reply, it wasn’t as if he’d said this to start some conversation on this topic.

Fabrizio turned to him, though, and with a smile said, “I can do that.”

Ermal looked at him, and it was that smile that somehow affected him more than those four words. That smile, bright and kind and familiar as it was, this time it was filled with something else, something new. And that smile, together with those words seemed to mock Ermal a little, seemed to tell him that there was something he had rather overlooked up until now…

“I – You – I mean, yes. Well – I’ll, I guess, I’ll just be – in the kitchen, I’ll start dinner. Yes,” Ermal stammered, feeling his cheeks heat up, evading Fabrizio’s curious gazes at all costs, and jumping up from the couch to do exactly that, go to the kitchen and start dinner. Not to flee the room. Of course not. What a ridiculous thought.

In the kitchen, Fabrizio’s kitchen, he first effortlessly opened the right cupboard to grab a glass so he could down some water. Then he took out his phone and texted the first person he could think of.

 

**[Ermal]** Marco, help, I have no idea what just happened, do you have some time?

**[Marco]** What’s wrong? Are you still at Fabrizio’s place?

**[Ermal** ] Yes. We were just in the studio and it was really nice and I was just thinking about how I’d love to have a bond like that in a romantic relationship, you know…

**[Marco]** And then?

**[Ermal]** Well, I said that out loud. And then Fabrizio said that he could do that.

**[Marco]**?? What did he say exactly?!

**[Ermal]** He just said “I can do that” – but he said it like he meant… I don’t know.

**[Marco]** Like he meant what?

**[Ermal]** His tone was… I don’t know, I don’t KNOW, okay… And he smiled and just…

**[Marco]** Ermal honestly, tell me what you think he meant.

**[Ermal]** It was as if he meant it like he could be… like he wants to have a relationship. Like that. With me.

**[Marco]** … And?

**[Ermal]** And I think I might want him to? Marco, what do I do?

**[Marco]** I don’t know, talk to him instead of me? – Wait, Ermal, why are you suddenly so insecure about this?

**[Ermal]** What do you mean?

**[Marco]** You have been dating for a while, right?

**[Ermal]** No, we haven’t? How did you get that idea??

**[Marco]** I just thought, with the dinners and the movies and the “Netflix” evenings…

**[Ermal]** I have no idea what you are trying to imply with those quotes. Not a single one. You’re no help at all. Bye Marco.

 

Ermal put his phone away again, that had been no help, and then leaned on the counter to take a few steadying breaths. He still had no idea what had happened. He had no idea what Fabrizio had meant, exactly. He had no idea where they stood. Not anymore. It was as if the ground beneath his feet had shifted – was still shifting, and he could only wait and see where he would end up. Maybe he’d make it to some new unknown, beautiful country or maybe he’d end up buried in the sand forever.

He could only wait and see, there was no other choice. So he decided to just do as he had promised Fabrizio, start on dinner. He diced an onion and put it in a pot, slowly adding the other ingredients for the risotto. Then he stood there, stirring the pot, trying to work through his own thoughts with every movement of the spoon.

Regardless of the rest conversation with Marco, a conversation that had not clarified anything at all, he had written the truth there. It had only hit him now, or rather, a those few minutes ago on that couch, looking at Fabrizio’s smile, that smile that somehow held a question, a promise, confidence, possibility, and excitement, all at once. A question, whether what Ermal had said was really what he wanted – whether Fabrizio was what he wanted. A promise, that Fabrizio would give him that, and confidence that he could. Possibility, endless possibility if Ermal just took Fabrizio up on that offer. Excitement, that they might actually get that, that it would go from vague wishes to reality.

And it was a reality that Ermal wished for, he realized that now. He did want Fabrizio to give him that, a life like he’d had on those few nights, on this day, a life of sharing the care for a house, the care for each other, and be _together_. He really wanted so much more than he had now, he wanted to be with Fabrizio. How would anyone but Fabrizio do for him?

Looking back now, it had been there before, he just hadn’t seen it. Had maybe even ignored all the signs in himself, not willing to face the truth. And now that he was aware of it, not facing it seemed like a good decision, because where to go from here?

Ermal was still stirring the risotto, adding more of the stock, when Fabrizio entered the kitchen and started setting the table. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t do anything. At least, not to Ermal. He did move confidently around the kitchen, softly humming a song. Finally, the table was ready, and finally he approached Ermal.

Ermal didn’t know what to expect. Maybe Fabrizio would stand next to him, leaning against the counter, stealing a little of the cheese that Ermal had just grated. Maybe he would take over the spoon, with a comment that it was his turn now. Maybe he would just get something to drink and talk about something or other. Something Anita had said, something Libero had done.

However, none of these things happened, and what did, Ermal could never have predicted. Fabrizio approached him, yes, but not to stand beside him, or start a conversation, or just grab some kitchen tool. No. No, that did not happen, not at all.

Instead, Fabrizio approached him, approached him even more, standing close behind him, closer, even closer. Right as Ermal was wondering _what_ was going on, Fabrizio wrapped his arms around him, enveloping him in his warmth. It shouldn’t have been anything special, it wasn’t really, how many hugs had they shared?

But it was special, because their hugs didn’t usually happen like this, in the middle of time spent together. At the beginning, yes, especially when they hadn’t seen each other in a while. At the end, yes, when they had to say goodbye for who knew how long. But in the middle of a day together, with even more time in front of them? No, that didn’t happen. And there was still that feeling from before, from that smile Fabrizio had sent him, swirling through the air around them.

So that was already enough to make Ermal freeze, fluster, but if it hadn’t been, the next thing would be. Because now, he could feel Fabrizio’s lips on his neck. Hot, searing, _Fabrizio’s_ lips. And also this shouldn’t be anything special, hadn’t Fabrizio done this before, in those hugs, kiss Ermal right between his neck and his cheek? Below his ear? He had.

Still, this time felt different. It _was_ different. This time, Ermal couldn’t suppress a soft gasp, couldn’t suppress the thought that he wouldn’t mind more of this… And if he stopped stirring the risotto, who could blame him for that?

Slowly, Ermal turned around, hoping Fabrizio would let him move, but wouldn’t release him. It was too nice here, like this, in those arms. Those arms that had always felt like home for the short short moments he could be in them, but that hadn’t lost that characteristic now that everything else was shifting.

“You’re cute when you blush,” Fabrizio told him softly, a laugh sparkling from his eyes.

Ermal ignored all the implications he could get from that short sentence, and just touched his cheek, that indeed seemed to emit some heat.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush so much,” Fabrizio continued even softer, putting a hand on Ermal’s that was still on his cheek. And that immediately made the statement untrue, as Ermal could _feel_ his blush get even more intense.

“Why?” Fabrizio asked, smiling, when he also noticed it, and then kept looking into Ermal’s eyes until he gave an answer, though that look absolutely did not help him gather his thoughts.

“You… I like you- and-” Ermal stammered only to shut his mouth immediately when it registered what exactly he had said.

“You like me?” Fabrizio echoed, still with a smile on his lips. He didn’t seem too surprised by those words, so Ermal nodded, quite bravely if you asked him.

“I would hope so, that you like me, wouldn’t be a good sign if you didn’t but still agreed to these dates,” Fabrizio said then, filling the kitchen with his laughter.

Ermal didn’t laugh. Because, _what_?

“These… dates? We- we are dating?” Ermal asked, feeling as if now not only the ground started shifting, but that he was spiralling, falling into nothingness.

So far, Fabrizio still had him wrapped up in his arms, but at these words, he let Ermal go, doing a step backwards, giving him space. Instantly, Ermal missed it, missed the contact, the warmth, the support. It did not help with the spiralling, falling feeling, not at all.

“Fifth one, by my count, yes – Ermal?” Fabrizio said, but his tone was not as light as before, now there was no trace of a smile audible.

“I didn’t know,” Ermal whispered only, not sure how he could have missed this – even Marco had known. How had _he_ , the person who was part of those things that apparently were _dates_ , missed it? He was still looking at Fabrizio, and at his words, the other man closed his eyes briefly.

“I’m sorry, Ermal. I wouldn’t – I would have…”

Oh no. With sudden clarity, Ermal realized that apparently Fabrizio was now drawing the wrong conclusions – that he didn’t know they were dating didn’t mean he didn’t _want_ to be dating – he had just told Fabrizio that he _liked_ him.

“Bizio?” Ermal asked softly, looking for the words to fix this. This could be fixed easily, surely it could.

Fabrizio didn’t reply, though he did look up at Ermal again now.

“I’d love to date you, really.” That would have to do.

“You do?”

“The only regret I have is that I didn’t know before. I can’t believe I missed our first date!” The crisis was averted, he was sure of that, and Ermal did a tiny step closer to Fabrizio. If he could apparently have those arms around him whenever he wanted, he wanted them _now_.

“And the second. And the third. And the fourth. And part of the fifth,” Fabrizio said, the humour back in his voice, though it still sounded a little bit off, like his mind wasn’t quite all there, focused on the here and now.

So Ermal stopped in his tracks, still wanting nothing more than to fall back into Fabrizio’s arms, but torn between that and giving Fabrizio the space he might need right now.

“Fabrizio?”

“I don’t – I thought you knew…”

“I didn’t, I don’t think I would have acted quite the same way as I have, if I did.”

“I thought you were just… You know, taking it slow,” Fabrizio explained finally.

And then Ermal decided to be brave, take some chances, even if he was still trying to figure out where they were standing, where the ground beneath his feet was shifting to, unsure if he was quite keeping up.

“If I’d known… I would not have minded taking things a little bit faster,” he said softly, taking another tiny step forward, until he was in front of Fabrizio, closer than he would usually stand. But then, whatever there was between them was no longer very usual, was it?

Ermal kept looking into Fabrizio’s eyes, trying to read the expression there, but he didn’t know if he succeeded. He really couldn’t tell much, and besides, other thoughts, more selfish thoughts kept popping up. He wasn’t quite in control of those thoughts, and if he was honest, neither was he quite in control of the direction of his gaze at all. It kept falling to Fabrizio’s lips, rather than fixed on his eyes.

Time seemed to slow down to no more than a trickle, each second lasting minutes and minutes. Slowly, Ermal got a bit more successful at reading Fabrizio’s expression, mostly because he was helped by the fact that Fabrizio’s expression was starting to resemble his own more and more. It was when Ermal caught Fabrizio’s gaze dropping down a little before capturing his own again, that he was sure enough to take that final step forward.

And then he was kissing Fabrizio, lips touching, bodies touching, hands tangled in hair. It wasn’t what he would usually do, a first kiss halfway through what was technically his first date. But then, it was Fabrizio’s fifth, he had been patient enough. In fact, both of them had waited long enough for exactly this, having danced around each other for so long, and now they had found what they were looking for.

But he was kissing Fabrizio! And like Fabrizio’s smile from before, that smile that had started all this, the kiss, too, was full of questions, of answers, of possibility, of promise. Questions, is this alright, is this okay, is this what you wanted? Answers, yes, yes, yes, this is everything he ever needed, or wanted, or would ever need, or would ever want. Possibility, the future could be even better than this. Promise, the future would be even better than this.

Finally, they broke apart, but not far apart, really, only their mouths lost contact, and they fell into a tight embrace. It was one of those hugs like the ones they had shared so many times before, but again, this one was different. Now, it was filled with understanding, of knowing where they stood, on the same page, the ground had settled. Again, for the second time that evening, Ermal could feel Fabrizio’s lips on his neck, but this time there was no confusion, no surprise. There was only a feeling of _this is as it should be_ , and Ermal tightened his hold on Fabrizio a little more, burying his nose in his neck, breathing in that familiar, comforting, but somehow _exciting_ smell of him.

It took a long time, but eventually, they slowly disentangled, looking up at each other with soft, mirrored smiles. At least, they did that, until suddenly Fabrizio’s gaze shifted and he pulled Ermal to the side.

“Oh fuck, the risotto!”

Ermal looked at the pot on the stove, long since forgotten, and watched as Fabrizio did a futile attempt of stirring the risotto, of saving it.

“It’s all stuck. Burnt, probably.”

“Let’s add the last bit of the broth, and see what we can save,” Ermal said, and poured it in, Fabrizio stirring the rice. He didn’t look too happy, and to Ermal it seemed that his reaction was a little too strong for just a small mishap with the food.

“What’s wrong, Bizio?”

“I can’t believe I’m messing up our first real date like this,” Fabrizio admitted, as he scratched listlessly over the bottom of the pot.

Ermal smiled, and softly pulled up his chin so Fabrizio had to look at him. “If I remember correctly it was me doing the cooking, so it is me messing up. But it does not matter, this is exactly what I wanted!”

“Burnt risotto?” Fabrizio asked him, pulling up an eyebrow. Ermal was glad to hear that he sounded less upset at least.

“The domestic things. Cooking, messing up, but doing it together. You and me. That’s what I wanted, a relationship like this.”

Fabrizio turned off the stove, and then turned to face Ermal. On his lips played a careful smile, and his expression was open, hopeful.

“A relationship like this?”

“If you want that too,” Ermal whispered, returning that smile, but wider.

“I do,” Fabrizio said, before Ermal had quite finished his sentence at all. Then he chuckled, and Ermal looked at him with a question in his eyes.

“You’re moving really fast for a first date,” Fabrizio explained, teasing him.

“Well, this is all you’re going to get on the first date, don’t get your hopes up – or anything else,” Ermal replied with a cheeky grin. He was satisfied with the brief flash of surprise in Fabrizio’s eyes, before they seemed to change colour to something darker, something deeper. Ermal felt something stir inside him, feelings he was not going to name now, thoughts and ideas that he could explore later.

For now, it was enough to explore Fabrizio’s lips some more, his tongue, and find out what he had been missing out on. For now, they were going to stay right here, in this moment, on their date, no matter if it was the first or the fifth, because what was certain was that this day was the first of many together.


End file.
